Description Ned Sherrin's memorable personal selection Apt words and witty sayings for speeches and presentations 1,000+ sparkling quotes and quips New to this edition One day you're a signature, next day you're an autograph. Billy Wilder I trust Bush with my daughter, but I trust Clinton with my job. Craig Paterson All the rudiments of success in life can be found in ironing a pair of trousers. Chris Eubank If I see something sagging, dragging or bagging I get it sucked, tucked or plucked. Dolly Parton With over a thousand sparkling quotes and quips chosen by broadcaster Ned Sherrin, editor of the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, I Wish I'd Said That offers something for everyone, from spicing up a speech or presentation, to simply wanting to smile. With themes ranging from Acting to Parties, Marriage to The Weather, you can take your pick of the wittiest remarks on any subject. Authors range from classics such as Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward to today's comedians iRicky Gervais and Jo Brand, and of course the inadvertent humorists such as Donald Rumsfeld and David Beckham. Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other married couples they sometimes live apart. - Saki There's a weight of intellect behind my comedy. - 'David Brent' I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins. - Terry Pratchett I always say, keep a diary and some day it'll keep you. - Mae West Acronyms are your allies. They sound impressive while conveying no information. Use them liberally. - Scott Adams I've been poor and I've been rich--rich is better. - Sophie Tucker Readership: General readers, speechmakers, people making presentations, gift Contents Introduction by Ned Sherrin List of Themes Quotations